Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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