I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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