Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
