I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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