I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
