I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
