Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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