There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
