I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
