I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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