Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
