Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
