He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
