its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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