Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
