I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
