fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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