fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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