you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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