She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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