first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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