I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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