I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
