I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Vodka?
Forever.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
