I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Houston, we have a blender
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
