with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
