dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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