Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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