Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
