so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
