I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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