Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
