giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
