In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
