This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
tell me about the fingering
Randomize