So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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