For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
