my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
