i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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