I want to stick my p in your. b.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
