I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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