It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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