He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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