So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
