you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
