Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
