you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Four minutes until I can fart!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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