doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
