I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
