i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
These tits shall not be calmed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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