the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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