well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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