I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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