But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
