i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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