I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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