Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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