love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
